What it’s like to have the flu*

*as explained by animated gifs.

At the beginning of last week, I was feeling great.  I had just had an awesome weekend in Richmond visiting my brother and sis-in-law, seeing my niece in her very first ballet recital, and helping my nephew build a dinosaur.


My week was going well!  I had a couple of good hair days in a row and I was making things happen on this big project at work.


On Wednesday, I started to feel like I was getting a cold.  I just felt a bit…off.  I didn’t give it too much thought.  Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.


On Thursday at work, I finally had to admit to myself that I didn’t feel good.  I thought, I’ve got no time for your bullshit, Cold. But my head felt weird and that coughing made my throat hurt.  I went from denial to just NO.


Not today, Satan.

I went home and went straight to bed at 6:45.  It was still dusk.  I planned on working from home on Friday, but when I woke up, I felt like a truck had hit me. I did take one call, and it did not go well.

Who do we have on the call?

Who do we have on the call?

A few friends texted to see how I was doing, and I responded the same way each time: “praying for the sweet release of death.”


Dad checked in and I told him I was too sick to go to the minute clinic.  The idea of walking to the car and driving two blocks to the CVS felt like it would take as much energy as climbing a mountain or delivering a baby, neither of which I have ever done. After 30 minutes of talking myself into it, I put on shoes and a bra and headed out.


Ron Swanson.

When I arrived at the minute clinic, there were no other people waiting!  I saw the adorable gay nurse practitioner, let him swab my nose. I really wanted to take a quick nap there in the exam room, but I kept thinking about Tamilflu like a miraculous, pharmaceutical dangling carrot and I stared at him until he told me I tested positive for Influenza A and wrote me that ‘script for Sweet Sweet Tami*.

Not Tamiflu.

After three days of being cooped up inside, afraid to go out and infect others with my deadly germs, I started to feel better.  By the time I went back to work on Tuesday, I had completely recovered and could actually feel a little spring in my step.


The answer is yes.  Yes, I got a flu shot  in the fall.  At the time, I didn’t know it was only 27% effective this year.  But the way I see it is this: It was free, it didn’t hurt and if that’s what it takes to prevent me from feeling like a microwaved corpse, then yes, I will get the flu shot every year.

No gif collection would be complete without Queen B, so with this, I say Fin.


*(No one else calls it that.)

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