1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?
Dealt with the discomfort, anxiety and dissociation of not knowing what is wrong with my body. (Thus, The Boob Issue.)
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I have literally no idea what mine were last year. I’m not sure I believe in a year’s worth of resolutions anyway. Isn’t it easier to bite off a resolution for a week or two weeks and see what you can accomplish then? Maybe I’ll try that this year — 12 monthly resolutions.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No. I turned 42 this year, so my friends my age are long past that stage, and the few friends I have who are ready for babies are still waiting.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank you, Jesus.
5. What countries did you visit?
None. Last year, I said, “In 2017 I would like to spend some time outside my own life so I can experience new things and feel small in the world.” I didn’t. I didn’t even travel anywhere. Furthermore, the only time I spent away from work was either a staycation in DC, in Arkansas with my parents, or relaxing in Madison County, Va.
6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
Romantic love and affection. A clearer sense of self. A new apartment. A tad more financial security.
7. What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- The Women’s March on Washington, January 21. It was the bellwether for what would become an incredible year for women. Woman have brought about a shift in the messages we hear from television and media and I can’t wait until Congress is filled with natural-haired black women, transgender men and a bunch of queens. That’s a team that will get shit done.
- November 4: What began The Boob Issue, a story for a later date, and one I’m hopeful 2018 will provide a positive resolution.
- Christmas Eve. I learned that a dear friend suffered a devastating illness, from which I hope he recovers.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Adaptation. Things changed for me in ways I didn’t want but I’m proud of the way that I was able to look them with an understanding of what I need and deserve, and then make changes to accommodate. Adapt and overcome was my motto for my friendships, my family and my hope.
9. What was your biggest failure?
My biggest failure was not moving my body more. My body wants to dance and walk (but def not run lolz) and stretch and I didn’t let it.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well, there’s The Boob Issue that is still unresolved. As I type, I’m one day after biopsies on two places on both breasts, with a third next week. This will deserve its own post at some point, but this experience has made me feel the following things: loved and supported by my friends and family, breathtakingly lonely, completely disconnected from my body, mad at God, and happy to work where I work.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I went to Drag Con in September and while the experience was a series of highs and lows, the hoodie is the most amazing, soft, delicious thing I’ve ever had and I MET RUPAUL.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Hillary Rodham Clinton. AGAIN. Look, she lost the Presidential race but subsequently she has been the epitome of class since her defeat.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
14. Where did most of your money go?
Same as the past few years — rent, parking, and mental health care not covered by insurance.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My beloved podcast We Are Still Hungry. It’s been a platform for a voice I didn’t know I had. It’s made me smarter, funnier and more empathetic. It’s a really fucking good time.
16. What song will always remind you of 2017?
Chunky by Bruno Mars. But also it was a great year for female pop music. Demi Lovato, Kelly Clarkson and Pink all had amazing albums, but 2017 also saw the return of Kesha, which made me cry honest tears and sing really fucking loudly in the car.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Here’s an off the cuff list: travel, taken life less seriously, cleaned, gotten out of my own head, pushed myself to fight my introvertedness, snipped Otis’s goddamn claws, read more books, journaled more, accepted help from other people, seen more live music.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish I had spent less time hanging out in the dusty attic of my brain.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
I spent it in Arkansas like I always do.
21. Did you fall in love in 2017?
Nope. Online dating is a goddamn nightmare and it’s a frontal assault in self-esteem to continue to open myself up time and time again. If my perfect person is out there I’d reallllly love to have him come soon. I am weary.
22. How many one-night stands?
23. What was your favorite TV program?
All the Bravo shows.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I hated Trump last year. I hate him now. So, no.
25. What was the best book you read?
Into The Water, by Paula Hawkins
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I didn’t discover anyone new. The best artists I know served me well. I didn’t need new.
27. What did you want and get?
Ugh, this is a hard one because I know I received a million gifts from the universe and I try so hard to be grateful. But truth is, 2017 was a shit year. It’s so hard to be positive and grateful. It just is.
28. What did you want and not get?
Romantic love and partnership.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 42 and my parents came to visit from Arkansas. We went to Clyde’s for drinks then ordered Indian food for delivery. Pretty solid night, actually.
31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Romance, sex, a monthly or fortnightly cleaning service.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Saw a meme that said, “my personal style can best be described as, ‘I didn’t think I’d have to get out of the car.’”
33. What kept you sane?
Laughter! My finely tuned mix of psychotropic drugs, my tight knit circle of friends all of which I’ve had for decades except for one sweet angel who leads me by example to be more thoughtful, centered, loving, and more careful with my words. I used to think she was perfect but then once she wore fashion sneakers with socks and knocked the shine right off that apple. Jeesh.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Tarana Burke, who began the #MeToo movement, and all the fucking bad ass women in Hollywood who spoke out and tore down the patriarchy of the entertainment industry. To name a few: Rose McGowan, Salma Hayek, Ashely Judd, Reese Witherspoon, Shandra Rhimes, Jill Soloway, Cat Sadler, Eva Longoria, America Ferrera.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
All of them. Literally every single one. This year was the year I became extremely invested in our political system and our government. I regret not having done so sooner.
36. Who did you miss?
Last year I said I missed the same ol’ ghosts of the past. Not this year. I reunited with one of those ghosts last February and he turned out to be a huge dick, which I should have learned in 1991 but sometimes it takes a few times to learn a lesson. Boy, bye.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
Last year I met my Work Husband — a wise-beyond-his years man who consistently surprises me with his wisdom and friendship, and who has seriously outgrown last year’s moniker by becoming a really solid close friend who makes me laugh more than anyone else on the planet. This year I became a mother at 42 with my Jewish gay Work Son and he’s brought me an immeasurable amount of laughter and a crazy approach to cube decoration.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.
Bad things happen that no one deserves. They happen to wonderful people who have wonderful love stories. They happen without reason, justification and purpose, that are definitely not part of God’s plan. And sometimes the good things you DO deserve don’t happen at all. I have no idea how to reconcile that with a strong sense of faith, but lessons aren’t to be learned in the middle. We can only pray for clarity in the long term.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
So many things that I had before
That don’t matter to me now
Tonight I cry for the love that I’ve lost
And the love I’ve never found
When the last bird falls
And the last siren sounds
Someone will say what’s been said before
It’s only love that we were looking for